Trying something different here. Going to try and post regular updates of what’s been happening in this crazy life I’m slowly travelling through. Diary entries, which may help some of the more serious posts make more sense and possibly offer a follow up on what’s going on.
The house has kind of come to a stand still at the moment, this has been for a couple of reasons. The first being a collection of big troublesome bills that came in the mail recently, which will need some attention before anything major can happen. There’s still little things that need to be done but then there’s the second reason for things slowing down… Time. Since I’ve started concentrating on inner health, putting more time into looking after myself and eating better there’s been a lot less time to put into the house. I did manage to nuke the backyard with weed killer to keep the knee high weeds under control.
Tara came off her pony Lily last weekend. Which is nothing new, she often comes off. This time though was a little more serious, enough to question my parenting choices. During her cross country lesson she fell off on a jump and had lily stomp on her arm. Fortunately it was only her arm and nothing more serious. She had it checked out by a doctor the next day, the x-rays showed nothing broken just a bit of bruising .
As a parent it’s always scary when your children get hurt but at the same time there’s a sense of pride when she gets back on her horse and keeps jumping. Watching her overcome her fear of falling or getting hurt, taking risks to live her life to the fullest. Something which will give her strength in the future.
Yes, I’m back with the Broken Girl , the pretty girl I fell in love with. This hasn’t been the first time we’ve separated, it’s happened quite a few times before, usually not for this long when it’s happened in the past. This time though a lot has happened and everything seems different, it’s not like it was before. This time I’ve changed, my reasons for trying again have changed. I still see the magic we used to have and the connection we had, which is a hard thing to forget but also how I see the pretty girl I fell in love with has changed. So I’m going to take this slow and let the wounds heal and the magic grow again. Not being together as much has been bringing out the magic, the longing to be with her, the need to be close to her and hold her. Missing her x
Being on my own for a while has been a positive experience, it’s given me a chance to reflect, and focus on “self”. Having a chance to be sad after losing someone I cared about has been a beautiful thing, a positive thing in some ways. An opportunity to reflect on emotions, on fears, on who I am and who I want to be. Eating well and exercising as well has helped the change. I feel good, feeling at peace with the world around me. The exercising has kind of stopped after fracturing a rib while riding up at Mystic Mountain in Bright two weeks ago, but Should still be able to get a ride in this weekend hopefully.